Monday, January 6, 2014

Looking for a house

If there's anything I've learned from VideoGeddon proper it's that space is of utmost importance.  What grandmaster Tim has been able to do with his house is amazing.  The VideoGeddon house, nestled among other ordinary homes, rests on a wooded hillside and appears as nothing more than a typical suburban abode from the road.  But one step inside and shit gets real in a hurry.  The house is no small dwelling and provides enough room for several arcade machines, TV's, XBoxes, portable mattresses, high end recording equipment, and of course flip cup.



While RetroGeddon will never achieve the lofty standard that VideoGeddon has put forth in it's fourteen installments, space is still a critical factor if routine mega-parties are in order.  Things I want from a house and the amount of money I have available don't necessarily agree though there are a few things that are must haves if RetroGeddon is to ever come to fruition.

1.  Multiple bathrooms
This is number one for a reason.  One of the great things about Tim's house is that even when there are 30 people there wandering around, awestruck by it's magnificence, when 10% of those people need to all relieve themselves at once, they can.  Three bathrooms ensures that no one pisses themselves or someone else.  I have pissed off Tim's back porch before and I don't even remember why.  Probably just for fun or because I was lazy.  Either way, I had the option of three fully functioning bathrooms at my disposal should I have decided to come inside.  Plus, over a long weekend of partying hard, everyone eventually needs a place to scrub their dirty asses.  Having multiple showering facilities helps make sure people can get fresh before venturing our for a well deserved lunch together. 

2. Room for my games
My video game collection is getting pretty big.  I have just shy of 400 NES games, about 140 SNES, over 100 N64, 80 PSone, 90 genesis, 70 Atari, and several other GameBoy, GameCube, GameGear, PS2, XBOX, XBOX 360, and Playstation 3 games.  These games require shelving and display so that the collection can be properly exhibited for guests.  I have always envisioned my collection to one day have a library feel to it.  Aesthetics are important and that requires space.  In addition to butt loads of games, I have multiples of some systems and multiple televisions to play the games on.  I also have a PC setup that will require a desk and chair.

3.  Room to play games AND crash
Having the games is one thing but people will need to have necessary room to play them.  Couches or futons obviously come to mind but need to be implemented with care as no retro system had wireless controllers so distance from the televisions and negotiable walkways are important when people are drunkenly wandering about.  Space, space, and space.  In addition, party goers need a place to rest their dreary, alcohol infested minds and a house must have enough space for blow-up mattresses and futons so that party goers feel like they can comfortably crash without being an inconvenience.


4.  Appropriate Flip Cup Arena
As important and perhaps more important than playing tons of video games is playing them with a drunken edge.  Lets face it, it evens the playing field.  Some people are just really good at games.  Some people are really good at flip cup.  No one in the crew is a master of both.  Getting some FlipCup in ensures everyone has a good time playing games, win or lose.  That means a decent sized porch fit for a few tables for flipping cups and doing jigs is warranted.  It would also be nice if, like at the VideoGeddon lair, it was a private setting so that no onlooking neighbors get offended by loud curse words or discount double checks.

5.  Distance from neighbors/parking
The only thing anyone would ever change about Tim's house is the parking situation.  Because his neighbors are douches, as he says, parking on either side of Tim's house becomes a gamble.  That's why we all want to pool together enough money to buy the two houses on either side and replace them with parking garages.  Since that can't happen, we're stuck with what we got.  The new RetroGeddon house must have a comfortable amount of parking for travelers, even if that means parking in the grass.  Some space between neighboring houses is also crucial so that there's no real worry of disturbing the neighbors when 4AM FlipCup rolls around.

6.  Room for my girlfriend to sustain sanity and life
While the VideoGeddon lair is a bachelor kingdom second-to-none, the RetroGeddon cannot be.  There has to be enough room left in the house for my girlfriend (who is helping me buy) and two cats  so they are not trapped in 8 or 16 bit hell.  The RetroGeddon Lair will likely be a single room or even pair of rooms, depending on the house.  There still has to be room for her to hang up pictures of shit that don't matter and place tables that have candles on them that we never use.  Girls like that shit, I guess.  

So that's it.  That's what I'm looking for in a RetroGeddon house.     

Here's some pics of a house or two we'll be looking at this week:

HOUSE 1


Look at that flipcup arena.  So hot.


No backyard neighbors for a few hundred feet to hate on us when we're throwing down


I could probably make this work.  




HOUSE 2

It's used as a bedroom here but it could be a game room or crash site


I'll replace that tile but imagine walking down into a sweet game area here


Then in the next room over there's this room.  Maybe the gaming library.  Smell my dick?



Both houses have three bathrooms.  Oh shit girl I cannot wait.  I'm probably going to buy one of these houses this week.

Probably not, but wouldn't that be fucking awesome?

2 comments:

  1. Go get it Diddles. You gotta want it. That house looks like it could work. Hit me up all day for placement advice once you do figure out a house. Draw up the floorplan and save time. I rearranged things way too much and can prob help you come up with the best way to use your space. Looking forward to Retrogeddon 1.

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  2. Eff yeah. I also need to replace floors in the basement of the one I want. How much of a hassle was that for you?

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